If I could tell you the story today, it’d be different.  I’d tell you about…

…How I literally danced my daughter into the world, swaying to Gypsy music with my naked wild husband.

How I felt like the goddess Saraswati when my waters broke, all the rivers of the world pouring forth from me.
How natural and wonderful I felt as my body turned into a volcano, pushing forth new life.
How I merged with the entire cosmos between the waves of contractions.  I’d gotten so big, I contained within myself the entire universe.

When I met my daughter for the first time, golden bright light shone around her head like the sun. We named her Zahara Tarai which means ~ Shining Star.

When I fell in love with my daughter, our eyes met, she landed in my heart, and I’ve never been the same.
The moment I chose to live, I was called back to the warmth and beauty of this world by the green and brown forests in my husband’s loving eyes.
When I returned home from the hospital on New Year’s Eve, after a week dying in the hospital ~ Our Christmas tree was still alive.  To this day, these winter holidays are precious to me and my family — we celebrate the miracle of life together in the winter dark.

It took months to come back into my body…how eerie it was to be neither here nor there, a living ghost.
It took years to unravel the trauma, the terror, the anger.

…and I let it all go.  The terror.  The nightmare.  Feeling sorry for myself.  All of it.
I was shown again and again the possibility of another way.

Light, joy, and appreciation for my precious life shines through me NOW.